(extremely tired so a rambly post lies ahead-)
1. haven’t started mugging for mocks at all. honestly truly dgaf right now. i would’ve been stressing like everyone else but hey, i realized that if i do screw up, hopefully i’ll just learn from whatever mistakes i make, and it’s not like stressing’s gonna help me at all so i decided to sua (till sometime next week yup) for my own sanity’s sake.
2. on the same note, have really had enough of people coming up to me and whining and stressing and dying all over the place cause of the fact that mocks are coming soon; it’s really not gonna get you higher marks so calm the fuck down. also so sick of people saying that they’ll fail OWTTE – firstly, you really won’t fail. I’m not just saying it. i’d even make a bet with you. you’re just being an annoying prick going “ohmygod i’m gonna faillllll” even when you know very well that you won’t. failing is different from not doing well. if you’re trying to say that you think you won’t do well / as well as you want to, quit using the word “fail”; stop being such a drama queen / king. almost everyone thinks that they won’t do well / as well as they want to so deal with it. secondly, if you’ve been mugging your ass off you do not have the right to come to me and whine, not only because i haven’t started mugging at all but really – you’ve been intensely mugging so what. the. fuck? 3. i wish i had this sign above my head: HI I DON’T CARE BYE. i really do not have time to listen to your nonsensical shit sorrynotsorry i truly have better things to do. even though we may be friends, really – just calm the fuck down, mocks are coming whether you like it or not / no matter how much you whine &/or stress it’s not gonna change that fact nor pull up your marks so why whine/stress? c’mon.
3. still clearing up work that has gotta be done (preferably) before mocks so i haven’t had time for any mugging at all (not to mention the intense cray kind) sighpie. work VS mugging; #whatislife?
4. still not used to being back in school yet so its been quite tiring. sleeping/waking up at all the wrong times.
5. life this week obviously hasn’t been good – at all, when compared with summer.
but surprisingly, at random times every day, especially right before i go to sleep, i find myself thinking about all the little things that make life bearable no matter how tough things get. the little things that make life worthwhile, even. and its these thoughts that keep me going, along with everyone, obviously – the only good thing about being back in school is getting to see everyone everyday, yup (: it’s the little things that we often tend to take for granted, but all you have to do is take a moment to step back from your hectic life and reflect on how blessed you truly are to already have so much, no matter what a crappy & lousy mix IB/work/mugging/tuition is.
even a simple smile – that’s all it takes to brighten someone’s day.
so i guess what i’m trying to say is that although things seem pretty shit of late just because of everything IB-related, i think i’m surviving because i’ve been thinking of these little things lately, and the sense of appreciation and gratefulness/thankfulness i have for them.. it’s indescribable. it’s not like i’ve done anything to deserve them, but most of us have been blessed with so many incredible little things in our lives, so much so that it’s overwhelming, really. it’s not happiness, i think, but contentment, which in certain ways is more valuable than happiness.
i’m tired, i have work to do, i need to mug but not before i get all the work done, there’s school (which i dislike), there’s tuition, mocks are coming up…
but i am content. and for now, that’s good enough, because it’s keeping me going, and that’s all i can ask for.
P.S. thank you Thought Catalog for the amazing lists of the little things; some never occurred to me until i read the articles.